erics's Blog

It was about 5-6 AM-ish. I heard a loud bang, followed by screaming. I mean screaming for ones life kind of screaming. I ran outside. What did I see? I see 5 guys beating on 2 guys. I know the 2 guys that were getting beat down. So, what did I do you ask? Come on now.  A free (so I thought) chance to do some good and kick ass. What more can you ask for?

First things first: I made an elderly man get back in his house. You know how stubborn the old folks can be. Second: I had to get a a teenager to safety, as he was being a little too curious. The teen lives in my apartment building as well, and he is mentally retarded. After I play an on the fly rescue operation, it was time to fight. I was not nervous, nor afraid. Fighting is one of the things I do well naturally, so I am comfy doing it.

I did, however, notice the odds and that there was blood everywhere. All this before I even jumped in the melee. As I approach the situation, one of the "home invaders" starts to run away. Eric sees a grand opportunity. I grab his shirt (bad move as he was covered in blood) and drag him to the floor. Where, I hit him in the back of the head, and kicked his ribs about 5 times. I let him be after I noticed he was severely fucked up. Can't kick him while he is down...uh...too many times anyway. >=) 

Then I proceed over to the apartment where all the action is taking place. I see my neighbor "Scott" getting his skull kicked in. So, me and one other guy semi-tackle the man who was doing the beating of "Scott" I only hit him once. He fell to the floor. He screamed for his ass, and the guy with me (who I don't know) is stomping the shit out of the dumb shit. The man I knocked down is now screaming; "I can't feel my legs, stop beating me!!!!" He said this about 10 times. I had no sympathy for his punk ass what-so-ever. In my world if you break into someones house, disturb a whole neighborhood, endanger kids and elderly...you deserve to die. I am glad I had my sense about me. Meaning: the cops were on their way and I was not about to be caught fucking this asshole up any more than needed.

Well, the cops get here. Aaaannnddd guess what? I get detained. I tell what happened...sort of. I fudged some details to protect my neighbor(s) and myself. But the over-view was accurate.

Assholes kick in my neighbors door. The same assholes who threatened me about 3 weeks prior. I make sure my other neighbors are okay. Then, I aid my neighbor in need. I (probably) severely hurt a couple of guys. And I lied about it when the cops asked me what happened. Where I am from, we don't tell cops shit. It gets you no place, and makes you a rat. Fuck that.

So, after being detained for about 1.5 hours. I asked if I could smoke, or just arrest me. They let me go, and Arrested "Scott"!!! You know, the guy who had his door kicked in and the guy who was almost killed. You tell me folks, is our criminal justice system fucked or what?

Of the 5 guys who attacked us; 4 got away. The only one the arrested was Mr. Can't feel his legs. Un-fucking-real.

And that was my morning.

***Update*** 11-10-09: So, the above story happened a week ago as I type this. Well, I spent the entire subsequent days away from it all, and am now far away from the whole ordeal. In that time, I have received some news on the fight/melee....whatever you call it. Number one: the 'can't feel his legs' guy is...uh...never going to feel his legs. He is paralyzed and won't walk again. He is also in hospital lock up. Which is basically jail for sick/injured people. 

Number two: One of the guys I knocked out, turned out to be my cousin David! Un-fucking-real. We didn't recognize each other. And only found out who the other was because I told his aunt about the incident, and he told her as well. She deduced that it was the same fucking story. She informed each of us that she had heard some sort of variation and had us talk about the incident. I told him "No hard feelings, right?" "I didn't know it was you, but that is what you get for kicking in someone's door."

WOW! Of all the shit that could have come from this. It was dark out, and my cousin and I had not seen each other in years. So, I guess that means we look a lot different than we once did. Daaaaammmnnn....

To all of my e-friends: I am alive and well. The last few weeks have brought me closer to some old friends and allowed me to meet some new ones. I do apologize for "vanishing" again, but I had to do it for me.

Starting a new life over, yet again, is tough to do. I was lost emotionally and still am not whole, but am working on getting my life back little by little. I can't thank my friend Jason enough for his advice and counsel on various matters. He has been a great friend to me through these last two months of uncertainty. I also made great friends with his cousin Simitrio, Simi for short. We kick it almost everyday now and we have a blast. We've gone to the race track, pool halls, and or just kicked it playing cards late into the night. We even rip phone books just to show how strong we are! Hahaha! Then there are my "boys" that I always kicked it with. Jer, Pablo, Rob. They have been great too. Like old times...which can be both good and bad. We still get into trouble but it is kind of cool to just cut loose sometimes, ya know?

And now onto the truly crazy part. I met someone who I am now dating. She is pretty cool and for some reason she likes me. Sshhhh...don't tell her that I am just a regular dude. But it is nice to liked for who you are and understood. She compliments me a lot which is very strange for me to hear. I am not used to that...at all! We have had some fun and are trying to see what happens next. I dig her and don't want to mess things up like I tend to do. The funny part is two fold. One: she looks like my ex wife. Well in the face, she is a lot smaller in the body area. I guess I figured that I'd try and date someone a little different than I am used to. Two: her name is Claudia which is the name of Pablo's (close friend) wife. Coincidences all over the place with this chick! Haha. Wish me luck on this one, as I will need it. I fear that she will grow tired of my antics like my last two ex's did. So I am trying to do things differently. Perhaps Eric needs a relationship coach. I like to think I am a decent catch, but my confidence is just not what it once was. She tells me I am all these great things, and I question it and kind of ruin the whole thing. Wish me some serio luck.

Now for the bad news: I am still doing a lot of things that have made my life hell. I am still drinking a ton. I am still losing my temper at all the wrong times and towards all the wrong people. I am getting better at it, but am a work in progress. I have had 4 fights since being back in Los Angeles and my left hand is swollen habitually. I am still not putting forth the right amount of effort into certain avenues of my life. For some reason I just can't muster the energy to do some of the painful things that I need to do. Perhaps Eric is not tough enough just yet. I still miss certain people that have graced my life and it hurts on a daily basis. But I am learning to hold the great memories close to my heart and be a better man for having had them in my life as I once did. I still miss my dogs, and that really hurts. I hope my Chola and KobeBear are okay. Daddy misses you! And it goes without saying that not having my daughter breaks my heart a little everyday. I hope she remembers me.

With all these things seemingly in my head and on my heart all the time, I just hope that the fun I am having lately lasts. The people in my life that love me and care about me are the ONLY reason I keep on trucking. Without them, I'd be nothing. Maybe that means that I am nothing, but it's okay because I never thought much of me anyhow. I wonder why she likes me, I wonder why they like to hang out with me, I wonder why they take my shit. But I thank God everyday for them.

And to any friends reading this; thank you too. Meg, Sadie, Jessie especially. You guys saved me this last year and I can't ever begin to repay you. In my heart you will forever be.

To my Meg: I am sorry things between us went south. But I pray that you understand that I am sorry for the way I treated you and the things I said to you. You are a queen and deserve the best. Never, ever forget that. If the next guy does not treat you right, he will have to answer to me. My love for you was real and you will forever be in my heart. I am happy for you and hope to not lose you as my friend and confidant.

Sadie and Jessie: you saved this poor sad kid disguised as a tough guy. You listened to me whine and cry. I am sorry that we don't keep in touch better. I hope to not lose you guys either. You all know my number, so drop me a line and tell me how the hell you are. ;-)

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized
you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...

I have not spoken to my ex (of 10 years) in a year. We have reasons for such an arrangement, and it works best for her and I. We take care of things via 3rd party...like custody of our daughter etc.

In the year that has past, I have moved on, regained some confidence and am trying to make a new life for myself, get back on my feet etc.

When we split, I said she could have and do whatever she wanted with our things, money, whatever. Reason: I didn't want to fight with her over shit that did not matter. She was leaving, and I had to deal with it. Now, a year later, and a year more clear in mind and heart, I want some of my shit!

She has all the pics of us, my kid, my dog, and my family. She made me a series of scrap books for the pics. So, I have no memories. She has/had them. She is not vengeful, or was not like that, so I assume that someplace she has those things in a box or something. I have stayed away per her request. Bren always said that she could not get on with her life, with my presence still looming over things she did, so I obeyed. Now? I want my shit!

Has enough time elapsed to where I can have a mutual friend ask for some of my things? Either way, a 3rd party has to do it, so what is a good way to go about it? Fuck, I don't know. I just know that I want my pictures and some other knick-knacks. Help?